The misadventures of a first time father

Tag Archives: Self Esteem

working at computer deskThere’s a philosophy/mindset out there being shared across the internet that’s really unhealthy, something that irritates me to no end right now, as people try their best to keep life going amid the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Oh, there’s different variations on it, but they pretty much hit the same notes. They go something like:

If you don’t come out of this situation with that project done, a new skill, or a side hustle you always wanted, it’s not that you lacked the time, it’s that you lacked discipline.

No, you don’t. This, my friends, is absolutely, 100% false. 

Yet I am sure there are people beating themselves up over the fact that they are not living up to this random internet person’s expectations that life is exactly the same for everyone else as it is for them. 

It’s not. And it is incredibly important for people to realize this.

Child doing schoolworkEvery single person’s experiences and circumstances are different. There may be similarities, but each one is uniquely their own. You may be deemed an essential employee and still be putting in mental, emotional, and physically-exhausting shifts every day. Maybe you are able to work from home, maybe you have a spouse who is too. Maybe you have children who are home from school with assignments for every class that need to be accomplished daily, so you’re playing the role of teacher as well. If you have multiple children, then you’re playing teacher to each of them, each with their own sets of work, classes, and needs. Maybe you, yourself, are having problems dealing and coping with the emotional tolls of this situation, its impact, those affected. Or perhaps you’re a single parent trying to juggle some, most, or all of the above. 

paint brush and tray houseOh, and, oh yes – you’re in the middle of a worldwide pandemic. Unprecedented times unlike something that many of us have seen or expected to see in our lifetimes. 

So get outta here, internet know-it-alls, who think your situation applies to everyone, shaming those who can’t accomplish what you feel they should because this situation offers you more time. This time is what each person can make of it, based on everything they’re dealing with and trying to handle. 

Instead, just try to be good to each other. Be kind and not judge people for how they’re juggling, handling, coping with the situation at hand. Because if this situation should be teaching us anything, it’s that the world and life can change pretty fast, so maybe we should be a little more kind and adaptable with others as well.


Some sound advice from Gotham City’s own Dark Knight, from 1963’s Batman #159.

In a world where so many people sadly look to find their self-worth in online likes, followers, and little blue check marks (or lack thereof), I think it’s still pretty relevant.

You tell ’em, Batman.

Bat-advice2

 

It’s actually an incredibly timeless message hidden between some standard 1960s comic silliness (which don’t get me wrong, I love). In the 60s, Batman comics had a penchant for letting trusty butler Alfred let readers in on a series of fictional stories he was writing of what the future might hold for Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson were Bruce to have children.

In this particular story from 1963, Bruce Wayne Junior, at 5 years old, is being teased by his friends for having a pretty unimportant father compared to one of the boys whose father is a professional baseball player.

Bruce Waynes a Great Guy

Young Bruce Jr makes the case for his father being in charge of corporations and doing a lot of charity work, but sadly that’s not the sort of thing to impress the young lads, who continue to tease young Bruce. Feeling hurt and pressured, Bruce blurts out that his dad is really Batman. What he doesn’t realize is that he’s just spoken the truth, something his father overhears while patrolling.

This forces Bruce Wayne Sr to move past the boys,ignoring his son in an effort to maintain his secret identity. And unfortunately, that just makes the teasing of Bruce Jr all the worse. Like any father, it’s hard for Bruce Sr. to take, leading to his admonishment of the boys up above, and telling Bruce Jr that he knows his father very well and that he couldn’t be prouder of the young man he’s becoming.

It’s the kind of moment that resonates so much with me. As someone who left a career in the public eye in exchange for a bit quieter of a life with my family, I have had a back-and-forth struggle with my meaning, my place, and how much of a role what I do career-wise will matter to my son and daughter. What I always come back to, though, is the realization that it doesn’t matter what I’m doing for my job, or who recognizes me, it’s that my children do. That I am around, in their lives enough to make an impact. In the context of the Frank Capra classic, It’s a Wonderful LifeYou don’t have to be Sam Wainwright to matter. You can be a George Bailey and be a success simply by living a good, kind life and helping those around you.

And likewise, it’s not Batman that’s going to have the greatest impact on that young boy’s life. It’s Bruce Wayne. Not a crimefighter, but a father.

Proud Batdad

Say what you will about old comics or a lack of ‘seriousness,’ but this type of stuff is exactly what made me a comic reader and the type of stuff I think young readers, and young children of all ages, need from their heroes.

 



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