The case of the pilfered pacifiers

We have had to do a lot of sterilizing lately.

No one is sick, but we have what you may call a “binky bandit” on the loose in our home. Binky being what we sometimes refer to our little one’s pacifier as.

At first, as we would reach for a pacifier and find it missing, my wife and I thought we might be losing our minds, finding them in odd spots throughout the house. Did we drop them, we would wonder?

Needless to say, we wouldn’t go popping them back in the baby’s mouth, and they’d instead get tossed into the “sterilization” pile for the next time we’d boil a pot of water containing pacifiers, bottles, nipples and the like.

Still, the mystery still waged on – short of growing legs themselves, what was happening to all these pacifiers. Was I sleepwalking? Egads, was the baby sleepwalking? If so, when did he learn to walk in these past five weeks?!

However, one morning, I awoke to hear some weird noises, like something being pulled across the floor. I followed the sound into the baby’s room, where I found, not our human baby, but our feline baby, Winston, looking up at me, with the pacifier in his mouth as if he were Maggie Simpson.

Now, I was unfortunately not quick enough with my camera to grab a photo of this bizarre sight. I wish I was, as I can not imagine how anyone would believe it otherwise. So you’ll have to settle for this “not as cool or funny” one from some time later.

There it was, though, our little gray guy – definitely the “baby” of our trio of felines, looking up at me as though this was perfectly natural for him to have a pacifier in his mouth like a baby.

Into the sterilization pile it went.

Published by thedorkydaddy

So many people say they want to be "the cool parents," but I have no such delusions about myself. I'm as nerdy now as I always have been. Only my perspective has changed. I am what I am. I'm the dorky daddy.

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