The misadventures of a first time father

Tag Archives: Childbirth

I’m still reading Joseph Chilton Pearce’s “Magical Child.”

Rather than bore anyone with my attempts at a book review, I thought I’d share a slew of quotes and notes I found interesting amid the next few chapters.

Chapter 2 – Matrix Shift: Known to Unknown

“The womb offers three things to a newly forming life: a source of possibility, a source of energy to explore that possibility, and a safe place within which that exploration can take place.”

Once we have a an established bond in that matrix (the mother), a child is then ready and able to move on to to the next stage of development.

“The early child can move into an exploration of the world only by standing on the safe place provided by the mother. Later, after age seven, the child can move into the matrix of his/her own personal power only by standing on the safe place of the earth itself.”

In order to relate creatively and explore all possibilities, one has to achieve independence from the matrix. To relate fully to the mother, an infant has to leave the womb and eventually, move on from the dependency relation with the mother. After age 7, to relate fully with the world, the child must functionally separate form the world.

“Intent always precedes the ability to do; that is, during any particular stage of development, nature is preparing us for the next stage.”

“Everything is only preparatory to something else that is in formation, as day must fade to night and night to day.”

“We can force certain forms of abstraction prematurely on the child in his/her concrete stage of development, but the effects are specifically damaging (even though the damage will not be detectable for several years).

“…the newborn infant requires about eight or nine months to structure a knowledge of the mother as new matrix and move out to explore the larger matrix, earth; the child requires about seven years to structure a knowledge of the earth matrix and shift from mother as safe space to earth itself; and so on.”

If you are stressed, the baby will be stressed.

Interaction is a dynamic interchange of energy. Interaction automatically increases and enhances our safe place.

“Give the safe place for growth, the vast possibilities of the huge womb world, and the great energies of the mother’s body to call on, that tiny organism grows at an astonishing rate.”

“This interaction is the growth of intelligence and body and is the pattern our entire life should follow.”

“Research shows that the mother is the infant-child’s basis for exploration of the world itself.”

“The mother is the infant’s world…she is the infant’s power, possibility, and safe place.”

In those first eight to ten months of life, the baby has to, above all, structure a knowledge of the mother.

“Only when the infant knows that the mother matrix will not abandon him/her can that infant move into childhood with confidence and power.”

“Development then moves toward structuring a knowledge of personal power in interacting with that world matrix.”

“The biological plan is wrecked when the intent of nature is met, not with appropriate content, but with the intentions of an anxiety-driven parent and culture.”

“Anxiety results when the child is forced in mismatched relating of intent and content. Interchange with the matrix and growth of personal power then break down, but the sequential unfolding of maturation goes right ahead.”

“We must first recognize that such a plan exists…We knew about this plan when we were around six years old and a great excitement, longing, and joyful anticipation filled us. Something else happened, of course; and even as it happened, we know intuitively that it was all wrong. This primary knowing got covered up by anxiety conditioning, which was so deep and pervasive, so ingrained and so continually reinforced and amplified on every hadn that the deep knowing has been lost to us.”

“We must rekindle our knowing of a personal power that can flow with the power of all things and never be exhausted.”
Chapter 3 – Intelligence and Interaction

“Interaction is a two-way exchange of energy, with an amplification of the energy of each of the two forces.”

“Reaction is a one-way movement.”

“We always tire when energy flows out in this way. In true interaction, however, we never tire.”

“Through interaction, intelligence grows in its ability to interact. We are designed to grow and be strengthened by every event, no matter how mundane or awesome. The flow of nature and seasons, people, extreme contrasts, apparent catastrophes, pleasantries — all are experiences of interaction to be enjoyed and opportunities for learning, leading to greater ability to interact.”

“Any bodily involvement by the early child brings about a patterning in his/her brain system concerning that movement and all the sensory information related to it.”

“If repeated sufficiently…puppetlike movements…will lead to that infant’s ability to initiate and complete these movements months ahead of an infant who is not so stimulated.”

“Intelligence can only grow by moving from that which is known into that which is not yet known, from the predictable into the unpredictable.”

“When people express reaction-aggression, they are expressing not just a crippled intelligence, but what they have actually learned.”

“Growth of the infant-child’s ability to interact means increased rhythmic patterning in the brain and corresponding muscular responses. This growth can be slowed almost to a standstill by subjecting the growing child to demands inappropriate to his/her stage of development, that is, by trying to to force the child to learn or deal with information or experience suitable to a later stage of development or by keeping them locked into an earlier stage. Then the child learns that learning itself is difficult and frustrating or non-rewarding.”

“…adult idea systems and opinions, is designed for the later years for development. Forcing the early child to deal prematurely with adult abstract thought can cripple the child’s ability to think abstractly later on.”

“Direct physical contact with the world – taste, touch, even smell – are often either discouraged or actually forbidden in the parent’s anxiety over the hazards of germs and imagined threats. Without a full-dimensional world view structured in the formative years…no knowledge of physical survival can develop.”
Chapter 4 – stress and learning

“When we know the probable outcome of an event taking place around us, our body systems can remain fairly passive and relaxed.”

“We spend large part of our adult lives establishing routines that allow us to function with a minimum of sensory sampling.”

“The unknown-unpredictable imposes sensory data that do not fit the brain’s established editorial policies well enough to be handled automatically by various subordinates.”

“To enter into an unpredictable situation and accept it openly is to flow with its energy, be augmented in your own energy, and relax its tensions and stresses accordingly.”

“The periods of prenatal life, delivery, birth, and infancy are all genetically designed to provide exactly the kinds of experience needed for the brain to structure its place of power.”

“The mother is the infant’s first matrix and the source of his/her possibility.”

“If this matrix does not become fully structured, if such a security and strength are not given from birth, intelligence will have no ground on which to grow.”

“Without that safe place to stand, no energy can be utilized to explore possibility…”

“We then spend our lives trying to avoid this threat. (the unknown)”

“The person denied the first matrix remains grounded in that earliest stage, trying to establish some arbitrary and artificial safe place of his/her own making. It is a compensation that never works.”

One of the things about the hospital that we’re registered at to have the baby is the multitude of “extra” educational offerings they provide. For the past six weeks or so, my wife, Meg, and I have been attending Childbirth Classes at the hospital one night a week, where we’ve learned all about the process of child birth, contractions, etc. Made up of roughly 20 or so other couples, it provided us with the opportunity to take yet another “extra” that we attended this past weekend – Breastfeeding Class.

We’re both very big advocates of breastfeeding our “soon to be,” and I admit, the class made me even moreso, if that’s possible. I know some people will tout how far science has come, but by my humble estimations, there’s only so much that science can replicate in baby formula, and certain things that can only be found in breast milk. These unique characteristics include immunities, anti-allergens and all kinds of other great nutrition that they can’t get elsewhere. So, I’m all for it.

We’ve had people in the family who have had some trouble with breast feeding, and that gave Meg a sense of caution – one of the reasons she wanted to make sure we attended the class. I didn’t mind, as I really want to make it work.

Of course, that’s said as the relationship-half that isn’t going to actually be having a child sucking on its chest, so perhaps I’m out of place with my enthusiasm.

While I found the class informative, it also was a bit daunting. Between the video that shows you all the problems that may arise for you to troubleshoot, to the intense “lactation specialist,” it can feel a little stressful and could easily push some people off of the whole concept all together.

That is the slippery slope, I think. Here’s why…

One of the things they press upon you in this breastfeeding education is that a child has to latch on and breastfeed within the first two hours of their birth. It’s crucial. Introducing a bottle at any point in the first few weeks can kill the entire process of breastfeeding.

But when a mother is feeling scared, and a specialist, nurse, whomever, is so intense that they enhance those fears, it can often lead to some difficulties for both mother and child. It’s pretty detrimental to what a lactation specialist is trying to accomplish in the first place, wouldn’t you think? So the key is calm. Calm. Calm. Calm.

That’s where I, as the spouse, realize my place. I can not offer the physical nutrients that the child needs, but what I can offer is support to Meg, and to the baby as we head into this venture together. Yes. All three of us. The baby may be latching on, but we’re a family, and we’ll get through it all together, even this.

As I sat in the breastfeeding class, I could not help but notice that I was one of only a few spouses that were in attendance. What’s more, directly across from us at another table was a woman who was very eager to try this when her baby is born, and next to her was her spouse or boyfriend, who at first was sleeping during the class (very blatantly), and then got up and left, leaving her on her own until class had ended.

I felt terrible for her. Here we are, learning how important support of the spouse is to a mother who is trying to breastfeed, and this guy can’t even sit through a class with her. I just felt bad.

So, husbands to be, I say to you this – don’t brush off the idea of breastfeeding, and don’t be so quick to hand over a bottle if they haven’t latched on right away. Stick it out, it can happen, and you can help – simply by being there, being supportive, and being the partner that you’re significant other needs you to be, for her sake and the sake of your baby.

%d bloggers like this: